sayonara my dear

At last im going back to Malaysia, 2 days time, the clock seems ticking extremely fast, and this time it is no longer for summer break, but it is like for the whole year, hehehe, im so excited yet kinda hesitate to leave London for a very looooong period of time. Huhu drama drama drama. Honestly, this place cause total disaster to my entire life, tempat jatuh lagi dikenang. After this no more strolling on london streets, no more west end treats, no more kerja gila, no more shopping, perhaps no more merengzness. :p

I really hope that it is not going to be the last time I see London, i will come back, cehcehceh!!

koleksi rosak part 2

the mood swings badly nowadays and i sing to chill out, owh really? hahahaha
sorry memekakkan telinga korang, blog aku suka hati aku laa kan.....

My Song 29 - Ahmad Zharif Ahmad Zahir

Coba Cover Zharif - Ahmad Zharif Ahmad Zahir

Akan Tiba edahmad - Ahmad Zharif Ahmad Zahir

wake up call? or its just a FATE!!

terlalu berkecamuk sejak dua menjak ini, terlalu banyak perkara yang terjadi, terlalu kosong juga dalam diri, maka di sini jugalah aku menyendiri. aku sebenarnya sangat terkilan dan kecewa juga kerana dengan segala usaha yang aku berikan, kerja keras, semuanya seakan sia-sia. aku salahkan diri sendiri. kerana aku jugalah perkara ini terjadi. i know my beloved parents are very very very supportive, tp tatkala memikirkannya, aku jadi sedih kerana mungkin aku telah kecewakan harapan mereka.

tidak ade apa yang perlu disembunyikan, hakikatnya aku gagal dalam pengajianku, tahun akhir ku. saat aku diberitahu sendiri oleh director sekolah ku, yang mampu aku lakukan, hanyalah memberikan sebuah senyuman padanya, dan mengucap syukur, syukur kerana diberi kekuatan menempuh segalanya. mungkin bagi segelintir mereka, pengajian ini agak mudah, tapi bagi ku, perjalanan utk pengajian aku ini terlalu sukar dan perit. tekanannya bukan kepalang. alhamdulillah semuanya buat aku lg kuat.

setiap tahun aku memperbaharui azam dan tekad, dah setiap tahun jugalah aku tidak capai ape yg aku hajatkan, tahun ini ujian paling dahsyat aku terima. mungkin ini balasan juga atas kelalaian aku, yess aku memang lalai.

mungkin ade segelintir akan tersenyum sinis atau mentertawakan. akhirnya zharif memahami apa itu erti kegagalan. tapi aku pohon jangan ungkit di hadapan mama dan baba, takut terguris juga hati mereka. mama dan baba sgt supportive setiap kali aku mengadu nasib pada mereka, mereka jugalah tempat terbaik aku memperoleh semula semangat.

melihat rakan seangkatan yang lain terus mengorak langkah dan membina hala tuju seterusnya, aku jadi cemburu, kerana aku masih terkapai dalam perjuangan ku sendiri. yep, aku cemburu, itu yang aku rasa, dan aku xleh tipu benda itu. inilah jalan yang telah ditetapkan buat aku, tapi berbekalkan kegagalan ini, aku akan terus mengorak langkah membina kejayaan yang lebih cemerlang. Jalan kita mungkin tidak sama, tapi aku tetap bersyukur kerana aku tahu inilah jalan TERBAIK untuk ku.

aku acapkali sebut sindrom merengzness aku itu, alhamdulillah sepanjang tahun ini, sindrom itu seakan hilang sendiri, entah kenapa datang kembali sejak dua menjak ini. sebagai peringatan untuk diri sendiri terhadap insan2 yang aku merengzz kan itu.

adakah org yg aku merengzkan itu beri semangat padaku? = TIDAK!!!

adakah org yg aku merengzkan itu ambil tahu dan bantuku? = TIDAK!!!

adakah org yg aku merengzkan itu cuba mencari resolusi atas kegagalanku? = TIDAK!!!

so wtf i should mereng2 lagi?????? haiyakkkkk......lemah

p/s maaf masih lagi tidak aktif mengupdate blog, xde mood sebenarnya walau dalam kepala mcm2 nak tulis, huhu.



THIS POST IS NO LONGER VALID....:p

bersalin kulit

Being apart from the homeland is the best lesson of my whole entire life. it brings all sort of experiences juggling all together, those i had not experienced before, esp when you encounter those bits at the very first time. The lessons emerge when you try to mitigate all the struggles tht you facing. Yes, this place was literally alien to me when i first came here, but now its simply another home. I know it sounds too ideal for some people, but blv me, IT IS NOT! hahahaha.....

i kinda wanna share bits of my misery lately, but hey, let's put tht thing on hold first and talk only about happy stuffs...hahaha. I know i've promised to blog after those misery ends.... it officially ended yesterday, and yeayyy i get to see the bright sun shine again, hehe. i can stroll on the london streets again, which i almost totally forgot about this fanaticism of me 'wusha'ing ppl esp on streets. :p

last week after several days of no sleep and becoming totally unorganized and terribly messy, i got myself a very nice dinner treat in one of the malaysian restaurant, settled at one corner of trafalgar square (strategic eh...), we had these scrumptious malaysian cuisines, i came here quite often tho, like once a month, hehe....


satay salad as the starter...





my scrumptious nasik lemak with sambal sotong and rendang.....nyummy, air bandung

owh ya, the restaurant called JOMakan, and the best part is, i only pay like £2 pound for each meal, heeeeee :p

i also have a nice treat at the camden market, bought some cheap stuffs, and then stuffed myself again with some Moroccan tagine, and 'pisang goreng' as well.... i know i am a fanatic fan of FOOD!

......ok this is just another short update, will be back with something more interesting soon, am planning to do some cleaning and shopping today......adios!

* i'm on the verge tht will decide the pathways of my future, and do pray for me, i know its gonna be hard, but i hope i can face this, ive been struggling like 3 yrs now, this is indeed another trial....*

A temporary pause....

Hello my dear beautiful readers,

Firstly i would like to thank you all my lovely readers who have been reading this blog all this while. Its been an honor to share some bit and pieces of my life with you guys. Even usually my thoughts were insane and sounded weird but your feedbacks truly inspirational.

As the title suggests, i would like to let you know that i will stop blogging for quite sometime. I just wanna give my full attention to my study and now im entering the final lap. I just hope i can pull off to reach the finishing line without any major hiccups. But if i stumble upon the journey, i really hope i can still stand up straight and try to embark on another new journey.

Saya pohon doa anda semua, semoga doa dan semangat anda memberi kekuatan pada saya.

I will come back before june ends, insyaALLah, perhaps with a new skin and bit more intimate....hehe. Owh ya, for those who studying in UK, if you finish your exam before june, i really need your helping handssss....please, do contact me!